​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

Down and out!

A brother-in-law of my first marriage and his wife rented a house close to where my wife and I were living.  We both had daughters about the same age so we spent some time together.  He was driving a white panel van during the winter that needed some mechanical work so he took it to the local gas station when they were still making auto repairs where the food and coffee is located now.

The work was finished but so close after Christmas he did not have the money pay for the repairs so the owner of the garage put his van out back of the station with some other non-paying guests.  As winter in New Jersey does sometimes, it had snowed before the van got moved into the backyard and then rained a little to make things shiny and bright although a tad late for the holidays.

He called me on Sunday afternoon and asked if I would give him a ride down to the garage to pick up his van.  I of course gave him a positive response so down the road we went to find that the garage was closed on Sunday.  He said it was OK because he had another set of keys.  He asked if I would stay to see if he could get the van out of the ice and snow, and I agreed thinking – or maybe not – that he had already arranged payment for the repairs.

He got in and started up the van and as expected the rear wheel drive tires just spun around without anything to grip and no weight to speak of in the back of the van.  My brother-in-law got an old army blanket out of the back of the van and placed it in front of one of the rear tires shoving under the tire it as far as he could.  He got back in the van and when he put it in gear and stepped on the gas the blanket flew under the tire like it was shot out of a sling shot.

He retrieved the blanket and returned it to its resting place under and in front of the rear tire and told me to get in the van start it up and give it a try, but this time with him and his weight standing on the blanket to prevent it from just being flung behind the vehicle.  No matter how I pleaded and told him it would not work he insisted I get in the van and try.  So try I did.