​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

Gas gauge roulette​ (continued)

Nope.

There is indeed one last gas station ahead before my final destination.  There it is - one last possible reprieve from the ignominy and humiliation of running out of gas less than half a mile from work.

I motor on past.

The car is now shrieking at me in the same tonality and cadence as if it were Meryl Streep in the movie Florence Foster Jenkins.  There's the parking lot up ahead at last, and yes, I've made it!

I’ve won! 

I’ve won America’s stupidest and most pointless game.

Why do I play Gas Gauge Roulette? 

It seems to me the game represents the ultimate point at which lazy crosses indomitable.  Maybe sometimes the only difference between being a hero and not being one is how much you are willing to risk to preserve your lassitude.

Well, comes the end of the day and I return to my vehicle. As I clamber into the car and settle uneasily behind the wheel, I recall two specific facts I had somehow forgotten:

· I am practically out of gas, the warning light having flashed frantically for a good 5 or 6 miles before I got to work this morning, and

· I am a lazy and shiftless jerk who doesn't feel like pumping gas and (optional) it's really cold outside. 

Game On!

-Perry Block

Perry Block is a Baby Boomer who frequently tries to pass as a millennial, although his references to Kukla, Fran, & Ollie and circles under his eyes which extend onto the face of the next person sometimes tend to give him away.

You can follow Perry on Facebook, Twitter, and on his blog Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute.
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Perry has just published his first book also named Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute which chronicles Baby Boomer life in the modern era plus parody, satire, and anything else you want.  He respectfully requests you put your life on hold while waiting for the second.