It’s May. Enjoy yourself! (cont'd)
Between innings I’ll reread a few pages of “One Hundred Years of Solitude” for Latino Book Month. As I read I’ll sit up straight, for Correct Posture Month. And wear comfortable shoes, for Foot Health Month.
I’m bound to see a member of the military at the ball park. “Thanks for your service!” I‘ll say, then buy them a hot dog for National Military Appreciation Month.
Because May is Haitian Heritage Month, South Asian Heritage Month and Asian Pacific Heritage Month, during my next shift at the library, I‘ll take a moment to solemnly gaze at these places in our mammoth world atlas and think “Hurrah!”
Then I’ll toast them with a glass of water for National Drinking Water Month. (Which I will handle with care because it’s also National Water Safety Month.)
For International Victorious Woman Month, I’ll try to win the next argument I have with a loved one. (Perhaps we’ll argue about Tennis, Meditation or Motorcycle Safety.)
After which I’ll compliment a teen for Teen Self-Esteem Month.
If I’ve worked up an appetite with all this May-related activity, I’m in luck, because May is National Asparagus Month. It’s also National Egg Month, National Hamburger Month. National Salad Month. National Salsa Month. National Strawberry Month, National Vinegar Month, and National Sweet Vidalia Onions Month.
Put them all together, throw them on the grill, add a little hot sauce, and I’ll be celebrating National Barbecue Month.
Of course I’ll grab my camera and capture the moment for National Photo Month.
After which, it’s on to dessert. I can take my pick -- May is both National Artisan Gelato Month and National Chocolate Custard Month.
The resulting mammoth stomach ache will probably land me in the doctor’s office, just in time for Women’s Health Care Month! While cooling my heels in the waiting room, I’ll grab pamphlets about Asthma, Arthritis, ALS, Celiac, Stroke, Cystic Fibrosis, Fibromyalgia, High Blood Pressure, Lyme Disease, Osteoporosis, Brain Tumors, Skin Cancer, Huntington’s Disease and Systemic Lupus.