​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

Knock it down and burn it up! (continued)

After knocking it down my brother-in-law was more determined to cut up the tree and get it into the fireplace in a house with no lights, heat or electricity.  When we went into the house I noticed that the hearth of the fireplace was just a slab of granite about two and a half inches thick placed up against the base of the fire box with space between the two that was not sealed in any way.

My brother-in-law ingeniously got that wood to burn by throwing kerosene on it from a mason jar.  I could see that the process left a trail of kerosene that was soaking down through the space between the hearth and the fire box.  Any time the fire would go out, he would toss another jar full of kerosene on the wood and spilling more on the hearth.  Although I showed him the problem, he apparently continued the process for a few days while repairs were made to the house.

Burn it up!  In the middle of the night a couple weeks later I heard the volunteer fire department on the road up the hill from where my wife and I lived. They should not let men have vehicles with sirens, fog horns or any other noise makers on the emergency vehicle.  Little boys do not grow up and they had to make all that noise and I am certain as my hair is turning grey that there was no traffic anywhere near our neighborhood or on route to get there.

Already awake and ready to start the day I got dressed and went out to investigate.  Sure enough that kerosene had soaked the wooden rafters and floor boards and my brother-in-law’s rented abode was in full blaze. 

-Larry Merritt