​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

My car is as clean as my conscience​ (continued)

My car is a microcosm of my life. I could tell you about it. But then I’d have to kill you.

Food wrappers. Books. Thermoses. Empty coffee cups. Sunglasses. Jackets. Blankets. Troll doll in a nurse uniform. Emergency apocalypse backpack. Flashlights. Hair ties. Reading glasses. Newspapers. Receipts. Grocery lists. Stuff to take to Goodwill. And my husband has stashed an axe under the driver’s seat of my car. Yes. An AXE.

The upside to having a really messy car? When I do clean it out, I always find lots of spare change.

I divide people into those who brush off my passenger seat and hop right in, and those who grimace, then get in with a look of determination combined with pity.

What does your car say about you? Are you neat and calm? Unruly and chaotic? Totally in control? Or fast and loose and ready for anything?

Next time you get in your car, look around. Is this who you want to be? If not, get rid of the used tissues, replace that pile of National Inquirers with a neatly folded copy of the New York Times and throw out all the half-eaten sandwiches. (And don’t forget to return that overdue library book you’ve been searching all over for — it’s under the front seat.)

-Roz Warren

Roz Warren www.rosalindwarren.com is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor http://ow.ly/LpFgE and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library http://ow.ly/ecQh309XJd3, both of which you should buy immediately.