​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

Paving pitfalls

When he arrived at the job, our ragtag crew was waiting with tools in hand.  The driveway had a steep slope, and so Jeff had to somehow distribute the asphalt equally along its length.  With no dump truck experience, Jeff inadvertently dumped the entire load at the very top of the hill.  We now worked feverishly to distribute the hot (actually warm) pile along the 75 foot driveway.  Two more problems became apparent: 1) cheap Jeff had not purchased enough asphalt, and 2) the asphalt had cooled so much that it was becoming very difficult to shovel, rake, or tamp down! 

We tried our best to move it around, but it was like moving rapidly setting concrete.  And the distribution at the bottom of the hill barely covered the original layer.  No matter, Jeff would smooth everything out with his ride-on, vibratory, rented heavy roller, right?  Wrong.  By the time he started rolling, the asphalt would barely budge.  At best, he was smoothing the tops of the peaks, leaving behind valleys, folds and cracks.  The driveway looked like a parched desert that had suffered an earthquake.  It was much worse than before our wrecking crew had arrived. 

To any ethical person, the next step seemed obvious.  Jeff must go to the owners and admit his mistake.  Then he must offer to do it over, or at least admit defeat and give them this ugly new paving for free.  But businessman Jeff would have none of it.  Instead, he said he would not pay us unless we all went to the owners and asked for the check!   Feeling very conflicted, we knocked on the door, and the woman of the house answered.  We sheepishly told her the job was ‘done’ and requested the check, fully expecting a complete and emotional refusal.  But she was shy, and either hadn’t seen our horrible work, or was just not the confrontational type.  Unbelievably, she gave us the check!  Jeff quickly paid us with his pocket cash. 

Did the man of house come home, see our disaster and cancel the check?  Or demand a refund?  Or try to take Jeff to court?  I never heard what happened afterward.  I did hear that Jeff went on to become a home builder after college, though I would be somewhat skeptical of the integrity of those homes (and of the builder).  All I know is that I got paid that day, and was never more ashamed to collect that money.  

​-Rick M.