Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.
Showdown at the b&b
My wife and I really liked cross-country skiing. One winter, I found a bed and breakfast in Vermont where we could spend President Day’s weekend. It was listed in a tour book, and though there were no photos of the place, it had a location close to the trails, and the price was right. Book it, Danno!
When Friday arrived, we set out on the long drive. As we eventually drove through Vermont’s wintry scenery, our excitement built. Snow! The key ingredient to a fun skiing trip, I thought. We were very close to our destination when I looked up ahead and spotted a strip of old motel rooms attached to an office. This was our B&B!? What the hell? What happened to the Victorian-style home, or New England-style ski lodge I had imagined? Though the book had never described the facility, I thought surely a B&B must be legally bound to provide an architecturally beautiful building, right? Apparently not. As my wife rubbed in, “You get what you pay for."
It was too late to change plans, and so I sucked it up, and walked up to the office. Behind the counter was the proprietor of the facility, a middle-aged man I’ll call Hans. Hans spoke with a distinct Dutch accent. At least maybe now I could close my eyes and imagine that we were at a European chalet. But, without my saying a word, Hans could apparently see the disappointment on my face. Rather than compensate for his B&B’s esthetic deficiencies by welcoming us with a warm and sunny smile, he instead seemed to get defensive.
To avoid an unpleasant exchange, I decided to just ask about general logistics -- what time was breakfast and where was it served? He told me breakfast was from 7 to 9, and would be served in the very area where we stood. I looked around and saw a few small tables which were crammed into this small office area. So much for my visions (hallucinations?) of a European chalet. Hans perceived my increasing disappointment, and I perceived his increasing negative attitude toward me. Not a good start. Hopefully the next day would be better.