​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

One summer, my parents uncharacteristically decided to try camping for our vacation in Gettysburg. They hoped to save lots of money in the process. Of course, they had no equipment and no experience with camping. But my neighbor friend and I each had new canvas pup tents, and so he was quickly invited to join us. 

When we arrived at our site, we set up the two tents before heading out for some sightseeing. As we drove away, I noticed that a camper’s dog apparently liked the flavor of our guy ropes, as it was chewing on one. 

We proceeded to tour the Gettysburg sights and museums, where I saw displays of bullets in walls, bullets in furniture, bullets that miraculously hit objects in soldiers’ pockets which saved them, and even more miraculously, Union bullets that collided in midair with Confederate bullets, theoretically saving both gunmen. As a pre-teen, these were the only meaningful exhibits that I remembered. 

After bullet burnout, we got dinner and returned to our campsite for the night. I found my parents’ tent partially collapsed as one of those tasty guy ropes had been gnawed in two. I quickly tied the ends together so that they could get to sleep. 

During the night we experienced a heavy rainfall – not ideal for camping. In the morning, I woke up to learn that any clothes contacting tent walls serves as a wick for moisture. And so, after moving all of our sopping wet clothing away from the canvas, I got up to see how my parents fared. Their tent looked like an island in a lake. I opened their tent flaps to find two unoccupied air mattresses floating on several inches of water. My parents were forced to leave their tent in the middle of the storm, and spent the night sleeping uncomfortably in our car. 

But, they apparently enjoyed that adventure so much that they went on to invest in camping equipment, progressing from a pop-up trailer, to a converted van, and ultimately to a full travel trailer. I suspect that their real motive was to save money, but I’m sure their other goal was to make sure they never slept on the ground again.  

– Rick M.