Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.
The mixer
No, this is not about a kitchen appliance. Back in the day, mixers were college parties for male and female students to mix socially. To facilitate the mixing, there were usually live bands for dancing, and kegs of beer for conversational/behavioral lubrication.
One autumn Saturday, my college buddies heard about a mixer at a college about 75 miles away. And why were we interested in a party that far away? Because it was at an all-women’s college.
My friend Bruce volunteered to be designated driver, and so Jim, Steve and I piled into Bruce’s VW bug. It wasn’t the most comfortable ride, but it was for a worthy cause. Since we weren’t sure if there would be beer at the event, we played it safe by bringing our own lubrication, bottles of Seagram’s 7 whiskey. By the time we finished our 1.5 hour ride, Steve and I were buzzing, Jim was puking, and Bruce was forced to become Jim’s designated nursemaid.
By late evening, Steve and I had met a couple of young women. They were outsiders that had driven to the party too, and they invited us to their car to “chat.” Before we knew it, it was about 2 am and the ladies had to get home. We said our goodbyes and looked for Bruce and Jim for our ride back to campus. We looked everywhere for them, but they were totally gone!
This was back in the ancient Pre-Cellphone Era, and so in Bruce’s defense, there was no way for us to contact each other. The women were gone, we knew no one at the school, and there was no hotel in the area (and we had no money even if there was one). Our only choice was to start walking and hope to hitch a ride – a pipe dream at 2 am in the boondocks of South Jersey.