​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

What's in your wallet? (continued)

Despite the fact that the picture on my card looks nothing like me, I never seem to get "Why, this isn't you!" Rather, I get admitted to wherever I wish to go, get to purchase whatever I want to purchase, and get permitted to do whatever it is I am seeking permission to do.

It isn't right. It isn't fair. 

Why?  Because it isn't me!

Since I so dislike that bogus picture on my driver's license, I took to carrying about a twenty year old license in which the man in the picture does indeed look just like me. Of course I carry it along with my current license since that is the one that must be shown when required.    

"Driver's license, registration, and insurance card,” said the traffic cop after I beautifully executed an illegal U-turn.

"Certainly, Officer, but I'm afraid there's a problem with my license."

"Just hand me the cards, sir!" he growled.

Ouch!  I was hoping I could explain the situation before he sees the counterfeit face upon the counterfeit card, but no such luck. I forked over the cards and gritted my teeth.

"Why, this isn't you!" he bellowed, thrusting the driver’s license into my face. 

And finally I heard those words!  At long last. 

"You see officer, it's the LOJM!” I scrambled to explain.  “Or some cosmic disturbance that made the picture look much older than I really am!”

I looked at the license thrust in my face.  It was the one from 20 years ago.

I gave the officer the license that deceptively depicts me and he accepted it and gave me a whopping ticket. But the experience was not a total loss. I did finally get to hear those golden words “Why, this isn’t you!”

Even if they were in response to a driver’s license dated 1996.

So what’s in your wallet?

-Perry Block

Perry Block is a Baby Boomer who frequently tries to pass as a millennial, although his references to Kukla, Fran, & Ollie and circles under his eyes which extend onto the face of the next person sometimes tend to give him away. If this kind of duplicitousness appeals to you, you can follow Perry on his blog at perryblock.com.  He is also on Facebook at facebook.com/perry.block, and on Twitter at twitter.com/PerryBlock.

He would like to be on other sites like Snapchat and Instagram but he has not been able to find an Idiot’s Guide to either one of them. You can check out Perry's first book “Perry Block – Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute” at amazon.com.