​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

Things I can’t so easily sweep under the rug (cont'd)

When Madame finally noticed I had thrown the Singer out the window and packed up all my thread, she had no choice but to flunk me.  I understood that. After all, she had tenure and I was but a brilliant student way ahead of her time.

I never googled her obituary, but undoubtedly she is now dead and buried, hopefully in something comfortable yet becoming that, of course, she made from scratch. But if by any chance Madame or any of her sewing descendants should read this, please know that this is not the ‘60s anymore; it’s the 21st century and we no longer rip off our bras to protest gender inequities. We reframe or practice revisionist history. It’s much more politically correct. So, for example, when I’m exchanging pleasantries at a Vanity Fair cocktail party or John Travolta movie marathon, I never actually admit to flunking sewing. The way I like to tell it is, Gloria Steinem “spoke” to me (in her godlike voice) and I obeyed the call.

-Janice Arenofsky

Janice has been an Arizona-based freelance writer, specializing in health, environment, human interest, pets, science and humor!  She’s had more than 600 features, profiles and essays published, and has written content for several websites. You can follow her on her website, janicearenofsky.com, her blog, humorbyarenofsky.blogspot.com, on Facebook, facebook.com/The-Dysfunctional-Family, and on Twitter, twitter.com/jarenofsky.