​​​​​​Because humor is funnier when you know it's true.

What's in your wallet?

I wonder if it's the same thing that's in mine.  If you're a Boomer, it probably is. 

In my wallet is a driver’s license with a picture on it that purports to be me. The problem is that the man in the picture is not me.  The man in the picture on my driver's license is most likely someone's grandfather, but certainly not me.

How did the picture of such an aged geezer get on my driver's license? I have theorized that there is a creature known as the Little Old Jewish Man or LOJM who leaps in front of camera any time I have a picture taken. If there is no LOJM, than the distorted and unappealing image upon the card may be the result of atmospheric disturbances, global warming, or some other bizarre phenomenon that is right now being over reported on CNN. 

Since my driver’s license is used frequently for ID purposes, I would expect to routinely hear these words from those whose job it is to scope it out: 

Why, this isn't you! 

But oddly enough I never seem to hear them at all.

"Here's a pass for the 28th floor, sir.  I'll need to see an ID first, please."

"Umm, is that a picture ID you're asking for? I can give you lots of cards with my name on them.  Ah, this is one from Adams Warehouse."

"I'm sure that opens all doors for you at Adams Warehouse, sir. But I do need a picture ID, like a driver's license."

"Well, I'm afraid there's a problem with my driver's license.  The picture on it  doesn't look like me. If I show it to you, you're going to say 'Why, this isn't you!' and you won't let me up in the building!'"

"Try me."

"How about I get someone to vouch for me instead?  I know a lot of people on Twitter."

"Sir, the license!"

"Okay, okay,” I said, handing him my driver's license.  “But you'll see, you're about to say 'Why, this isn't you!'  And then I'll never get up in the building!"  

"That's you. Go on up."

"What? You're letting me up?"

"You're good to go."

"Without valid ID?!   ​I want to see your badge number!"